he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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