No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My bed smells like the plague
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
