for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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