But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
