It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize