my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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