She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
