dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
