I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
