I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize