How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
