Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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