I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found puke in my bra..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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