Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
