I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
