U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
