Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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