It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
