Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
