somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I need to calm my uterus...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
