So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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