piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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