at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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