I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
