This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
