He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
