there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
