i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
