Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
