Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
