i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My dad is sitting where you rode me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
