for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize