Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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