I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
