fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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