remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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