i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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