its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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