Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
