I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
