my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
