I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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