I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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