i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
