You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
