What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
