Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
