i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
