this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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