Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
