well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
