it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
