i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
