Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
