she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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