i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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