I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
