Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
