Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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