A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
