I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
