it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
